Update: Buy Nothing Month Results

Before the end 

of

Buy Nothing month, 

my husband Dennis, 

joked that now we would be 

in

 "Buy Everything" month.

   

He does not like Buy Nothing month.
He does not feel abundant.
He does not like to be told that he cannot buy anything.
He goes along with it because it is important to me.
After all, it is a tradition.
If you have not read about Buy Nothing month, here is the link.  Buy Nothing Month

I started "Buy Everything" month at the I Can Do It Conference, so there was a hotel bill and other travel expenses.  I have been to Target 3 times, buying hair accessories, 2 wall decorations (one as a gift), gloves for working out, a Leslie Sansone walking video, M&M's (a gift), food storage containers, and cards for Valentine's Day.  I have also spent money on a conference called Habits of Happy People, a SARK blanket that has words about loving being the whole point, a visualization product, an online boot camp, See's candy (gift), a meditation program, a book club book and a heart rate monitor.  The month is not over yet so this is quite a few purchases beyond my usual.

If I saved any money during Buy Nothing month 

I have spent it this month!

If you analyze the purchases there is a definite pattern.  
I like to learn, give gifts and enjoy fitness-for the body and mind.
Some of the purchases I can put in the self care area which is very important to me.
Self care to continue my happiness journey by learning, growing and throwing in a few indulgences.
I am changing my fitness routine a little and quieting my mind on a regular basis.

It is not that I have overspent beyond my budget or that I am not living within my means. I was not spending because of boredom or habit and it was not mindless.   Buy Everything month shows me that it is so easy to just run to the store, or go online to buy and get a quick hit of happiness.  When it was Buy Nothing month I was home more, no unplanned stops.  I thought outside the box when something was needed.  I thought about want vs. need.

Did I spend more this month because my brain was celebrating the end of Buy Nothing month?  I am a frugal person and do not usually spend money on myself.  I do not regret the purchases but it has made me think.

What did I learn these last two months?

• It is good to keep track of spending-but not every day.
• I really don't need to look at the Target ad every Sunday.
• Taking someone to Costco is better so I am not just wandering.
• Costco is the $100 or much more store. (I love Costco!)
• Eating out once a month is enough.
• Library books are such a good deal.
• Dennis does NOT like Buy Nothing month.
• Dennis is a dedicated husband to do this every year.
• Buy Nothing month appeals in theory to a lot of people.
• Buy Nothing month is a good conversation topic.
• Not going to stores reduces the amount I spend.  
• I really don't need frozen yogurt, for my body and budget.

I might try Buy Nothing month another month this year.
Just me.
Then see what happens the next month.
Will it unleash my inner spendthrift?

Why do we buy what we buy?  

What is a need vs. want?  

Self-Pleasure

I love my work!  I am Happiness Whisperer, blogger, library page, Happiness teacher, wife, mom, homemaker, CEO of wellness and finances, retiree and have many more roles.  With those roles come duties, to-do lists and chores.  I have always been a busy person with a lot of projects and have-to-do's.
  

I kind of feel guilty if I slow down, rest or if I am not accomplishing something.
(Do you ever feel like this?)

But my word this year is enough, and the word busy is not in front of it. I want my life to be enough, not too much or too little.  I want my home, to-do lists, projects and roles to be the right size for my SELF (soul, spirit, being, person, me).

Clutter clearing and cleaning have been my priority to start 2014.  Slowly I am making progress.  No check list or even one drawer a day but ENOUGH.  

My new, next priority is pleasure.  Yes you read that right.  Self-pleasure.  Pleasure is a feeling of happy satisfaction, enjoyment, fun, joy and contentment.  So my definition of self-pleasure is for me to do fun things that bring me enjoyment, contentment and joy even if my work is not complete.  

It isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; 

it's making a great deal out of the little ones.

-Jean Webster

(Break for dancing to Ring My Bells by Enrique Iglesias)

So self-pleasures for me could include:  cutting out words from magazines for a vision board, patio pondering time, walking with Dennis, a dark chocolate almond, petting Sadie, dream with Kelly about her future, sourdough toast, help Lexy find balance as she makes her way in real life, email a friend, listening to music, use markers to pretty up a boring document, maybe take a nap (?) (napping is a little far fetched).  

I am excited to make time for pleasure.  

I do enough.

I have enough.

I am enough.

I promise to nurture my self-pleasure.  I will listen to my heart.  I will meditate for my quiet time.  Pleasure is my time to do what I need to do for my soul.  No guilt for not getting "it" all done.  The importance of playing, relaxation, and joy are not recognized in our fast paced lives. Many of us are in survival mode, doing what we think we should do or have to do.  

Is there a happy medium?
Not too much or too little work/pleasure ratio?
Are we capable of saying no?

No is a complete sentence.

It doesn't require explanation or justification.

You might even be disappointing someone.  

What does self-pleasure mean to you?

Love

This week there is a holiday some of us adore-Valentine's Day.  
It is all about love, caring and friendship.
My favorite shape is even a heart.  
The day is filled with chocolate, flowers and blown out of proportion expectations.  
In our mind and imagination we have a vision of how this day should be.  
I say change your mind and let's celebrate self-love instead.   

I just found out about a book called Madly in Love With Me.  The author, Christine Arylo, says she is the Queen of Self-Love.  Some of her ideas really appeal to me:

• Rest is good.
• I am enough.
• Busy and multi-tasking is not a badge to earn.
• Stop unrealistic expectations.
• Throw away the self sacrifice manual.
• It is better to give and receive.

February 13 is the International Day of Self Love.  

At her website there is a Self-Love Tree that has roots of self worth and many branches including:

Acceptance, Care, Trust, Awareness, 

Compassion & Forgiveness, 

Empowerment, 

Honor & Respect, 

Esteem, 

Expression, Pleasure

  

She asks us to choose one of the branches from the Self-Love Tree and then make a pact to work on it all year.

Madly in Love With Me website     

I am choosing pleasure as my branch to work on.   

It isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones.  

-Jean Webster

Her mantra:  I will never settle for less than my heart and soul's desire.

We should all be thinking of ways to understand what our heart and soul desires and then how to make it become your truth. 

Pick one of the branches of Self-Love and celebrate. 

If you do this on February 13 then you will already be filled with love and your expectations and vision for Valentine's Day will not be as important.  Buy yourself some chocolate, make a special dinner, listen to your favorite music, take a nap.  Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself.  Get a massage or a pedicure.  Plan a vacation or write a chapter in your book.  The thing is to give yourself what you need.  I will listen to what my heart and soul desire.  

I love me

and 

chocolate is good too!    

#I Can Do It! 2014

Last weekend I attended a Hay House event called
I Can Do It!  

The brochure suggested that you would 

 "be entertained...get educated...and live a better life."  

There were 10 speakers over the two day event.  

It was amazing. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer was the first speaker and he is so very wise.  He quotes poetry, uses science to make the point and most of all, has a passion to make us understand that we have a choice about what life we create for ourself.  He spoke of obstacles in his life that made him who he is.  He went on a rant about wheat and a book called Wheat Belly.  He wore his message on his shirt.  Love.

Barbara De Angelis was excited to share about shining as who we are.  Her advice was to take a pilgrimage to yourself.  Her statement of "what I can see...I can shift" was thought provoking.  Are we growing, learning, healing and digging to be awake in our life?

I have seen Nick Ortner a couple of times and have his book, The Tapping Solution.  He has a dynamic method, called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), that will change the limiting beliefs that hold you hostage.  The book is at the library, check it out and keep an open mind.

Kris Karr has cancer. She shares her story to inspire us to make changes.  She is adamant that prevention is the best cure.  Self care is the key to live your purpose.  She spoke of being the CEO of your health.  Working through our stuff to love and accept every part of our life to transform with ease and use your intuition too.  Your purpose is to awaken!  Her rescued dog Buddy is sooooo cute.

Greg Braden was kind of scary.  He has the scientific expertise and his facts and figures make you sit up and listen.  He talked of a "new normal."  Our lives are changing in ways we've never seen and we are not going back.  Resilience in these times of extremes is about knowledge and adapting.  He says part of the answer is moving from a competitive world to a creative one with the question "What does the world need?"  Science gives us information but we have to move to our hearts to figure out how to use it on this journey.

(Skeptics skip this part)
Doreen Virtue is an uplifting speaker who receives messages from angels.  She believes every person has guardian angels and we just have to ask for help to receive it.  She spoke of Indigos and Earth Angels and I was very intrigued.  She mentioned feathers falling out of nowhere, sparkles of light, repetitive signs and how important it is to get out in the sun every day.  Her ideas about detoxing are interesting and she is  a mesmerizing speaker.

Deborah King was passionate about energy.  She is an energy healer and spoke of chakras and energy fields.  She took a vector out of someone?  Her tools also included journaling and meditation.  Ask yourself-What is not working?  At the end of her talk I was questioning what had just happened.

My favorite speaker of the weekend was davidji.  His personal story of business man on Wall Street to meditation teacher was inspiring and hilarious.  He spoke of Maslow, the fight-flight response, space between breath, mantras and 16 seconds to bliss.  He explained that if you have thoughts during meditation it means you are alive and if you fall asleep it means you are tired.  He trains cops with a program called Blue Courage.  He asked us all to commit to 21 days of meditation.  I'm in!

Transformation was the topic for Caroline Myss and what an important time we are living in.  We live in a global world and change is constant.  She said "what is one is in the whole."  Our actions have a profound affect on the entire world so give it the best you've got.

Have you ever been on a spirit journey?  Denise Linn was the final speaker of the weekend and spoke about all of us being native, wherever we are from.  She spoke and chanted of a time when the universe was different.  A time when our ancestors could smell the storm, talk to the fairies, instruct others in plant medicine and hear the call in the silence.  She urged us to see that gratitude is very powerful and connecting with nature a requirement in our life.

My mind is full of questions and new thoughts.
I know more than before but I am less sure of what it is or what it means.
I will seek the quiet of meditation.
I will read some of the books that were recommended.
I will look through my notes to remind me of the teachings of this weekend.
I was entertained, educated and given the tools to live a better life.

I Can Do It!