PROJECT: Buy Nothing Month

Happy New Year
Almost!

In our home, 2014 will start in the same way it has been started for many years.  
No, not that kiss at midnight or writing a list of resolutions.  
This is no buy month.  
This project is about shifting focus.
It stops that instant gratification syndrome which is easy to start and continue.    
Sometimes money is spent out of convenience or boredom.  
You want it, you surf online or go to Target and BAM you have a new "thing".  
You are happy for awhile but that satisfaction is often fleeting.  

Especially during the holiday season it is an easy habit to become attached to.  You know how you buy a sweater, then a scarf to complete it, but then really want the earrings too, maybe shoes?  Wait, I'm not the only one who does that am I?  

A study by Yale and Stanford researchers dub this the "shopping momentum effect". It explains how buying one thing seems to unleash your inner spendthrift.  It is that feeling when I am placing items in the basket and say I should think twice about this purchase but justify it somehow anyway.  

We can become unconscious spenders.  Oh, look at this new app, only $4.99.  Or a song on iTunes, only $1.29, the nail polish or post it notes at Target for $3.99 (maybe both) and on it goes.  By stopping the momentum of mindless spending it becomes clear how we manage money or not.  It is not that easy.

There are many personal finance books that can help us with tricks and techniques for budgeting and financial well being.  Be sure to check the library for FREE books. 

LEARN!

Our family goes cold turkey, no spending on January 1st.  We can only buy groceries, gas and pay regular bills.  No eating out, no trips to Target, no "wants" purchased, only needs.  We can use the credit card for food and gas only.  And yes we have emergency exceptions.  One year we needed a dress and all the other stuff  for Winter Formal.  Because of no buy month, we brainstormed how we could accomplish this for the least amount of money.  Instead of going to the mall we went to Buy Rite Thrift Shop and found a long royal blue satin dress for $1.99.  We had it cut off and hemmed for $20, and shoes from Payless Shoes for $16.99 (they take them off to dance anyway).  So for less than $40.00 it was a Winter Wonderland and the lesson was PRICELESS.  

From the science of happiness, the attachments to money and even education are less important than relationships. 

-Mark Anielski

So how does this affect our family?

In our house not everyone is thrilled with no buy month but we all see the importance of it.  It has become an important New Year tradition.  We are on the honor system, even for those that earn their own money and hopefully we all "buy" into it.  

What are the benefits?  

We have more time.  
We are not searching online, finding deals, going to the store, trying it on, thinking about it and finally buying it then debating if you made the right decision.  
Shopping is a lot of work.  
It simplifies our days because there are no decisions about spending money.  
We have discussions about wants vs. needs.  
We talk about values.  
We talk about being debt free and living below our means.  
I like to think I am teaching my daughters about personal finance and decision making skills. 
We change our brains and stop the momentum of spending.  
And lastly, we save money.   
Lots of reasons to keep our tradition going every year.  

We do make a last minute trip to the store on December 31, to stock up on shampoo, deodorant and other "needs". In January,  I will check my MINT financial software every day to bring back that money awareness.  Where is our money going?  I won't look at the Target ads every Sunday and think oh I need that.  I will delete emails promoting upcoming sales or maybe even unsubscribe so I am not even tempted. I will catch myself when I want to order a book from Amazon or an app from iTunes. 

Maybe you can try the no buy project....for a day, a week or even go big and do the whole month.  Your bank account will be glad you tried it.  Maybe it will become a New Year tradition for your family.  
   

Connection

As I was trying to figure out what to write about I was thinking about what all the holidays have in common, besides yummy food!  They are all gatherings with many traditions.  Some are based on religion and some are not.  We all have our favorite ways to celebrate this time of the year.  One thing that is a common theme throughout each tradition, holiday or gathering is that it is people being together.

Connection.

A connection is a link, a bond, an association, an attachment, a tie or relationship.
Most of us like to have a connection with our friends and family.

It seems like this time of year we extend that connection to others.  
We smile at the bell ringer who is cold, but warmed by making a difference.
We let someone ahead of us in line when they only have one item, and feel generous.
We ask the checker how the day is going, and know we are spreading cheer.
People volunteer what they are having to eat for their special meal, and we listen.
Someone shares a special childhood tradition and another adopts it.
Many treats are shared and recipes exchanged.

But not everyone has these connections and I see them in my daily path.  One person was talking to me at the library and she said her daughters live in another state and she will be alone.  We take our connections for granted.  We sometimes even grumble that we "have" to go somewhere to celebrate.  There are some who have nowhere to go for a celebration or connection.

One of my core values is about making a difference and that usually means making a connection in some way.  It means walking through life with eyes open and being ready to change the world.  It can be as simple as listening to the lady in the library, smiling at the homeless person I see every work day, or working on my class curriculum to teach the science of happiness.

Many say this time of year is for the children, I disagree and say it is for all of us.  It is a reminder to stop for a moment in our daily lives, be thankful and remember connection is and always will be what life is about. 

Other people matter. 

Make a connection or two or more. 

Hold the door for someone.
Smile at a grumpy person.
Start a conversation with an elderly soul.
Acknowledge the sadness in someone who needs it.
Give a treat to a helper.
Leave a really big tip.
Tell a story.
Surprise someone with a phone call.
Share hot chocolate with an outside worker who is in the cold.
Thank a police officer.
Start a tradition.
Sing a song out loud.
Send love and light to the world. 

I wish everyone could have a connection during this special time of year.
But sadly, that is not how it is.
So as you go about your holiday duties, take a moment and be thankful for that connection you have and the obligations that go along with it.

We are blessed.
Connection.

    

Favorite Things

This is a list of my Favorite Things.

  

They are not especially popular or well liked, known about or even done by anyone other than me.  
It is not a holiday gift giving guide.  
It does not include over-the-top indulgences.  
It does not even include Macy's, Nordstrom's or anything organic. 

It's just me tuning in to my life and seeing how blessed that I am. 

1. New books checked out from the library that no one has read yet.
2. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser-it cleans everything.
3. A blank notebook for new beginnings, great ideas and to-do lists.
4. Flylady.net for daily reminders to keep me on track.
5. WORDS-everywhere-on walls, in pictures or on paper.
6. Chocolate!  Any kind, anywhere, anytime.
7. Sadie, my dog, when I am petting her or wiggles when I come home.
8. Spreading happiness with kind words, good deeds or smiles.
9. Sharpie Accent Highlighter pens.
10. A picked up, clutter free, clean home.
11. Hanging out, doing nothing with my daughters.
12. MacBook Pro laptop computer with One to One training.
13. I Can Do It Conference sponsored by Hay House.
14. Vision Boards...cutting out words and pictures is so fun.
15. A strawberry smoothie after a workout at the gym-thank you Dennis!
16. Military, those currently serving or veterans-THANK YOU!
17. Fitbit Force to keep track of steps, sleep and encourage me to move.
18. The mantra, "Things are always working out for me".
19. Friends who keep you real.
20. Hot chocolate with whipped cream.
21. Leslie Sansone Walk at Home videos.
22. Meditation or QUIET.
23. White Boards that are easily erased.
24. Jammie days.
25. CONTENTMENT.

Make a list of your favorite things.

When you brainstorm your gift giving list maybe you can include a favorite thing to share.

Gifts don't have to cost a lot of money to be just the right thing. 

Share yourself for the best gift of all. 

Be happy.

Sandy Hook Shooting Impact

My name is Becky Wilbur aka Happiness Whisperer.  I am a 58 year old wife and mom.  When the Sandy Hook shooting happened last year on 12-14-12, I was working in my cubicle in a prison.  I was devastated as I imagined my own daughters’ kindergarten classes being harmed. 

How was what I was doing in this prison making a difference? 

For many years, I worked in Human Resources, recruiting and hiring staff, to guard and rehabilitate  juvenile offenders in a youth correctional center.  On that day I was so sad and I felt hopeless. I am a positive person and knew I needed to do something, so I planned a team building activity for Monday.  Now if you know anything about the State of California you know we don’t “do” activities, team building or not! My nose and those around me were usually to the grindstone.  But that day I had an epiphany and I sent an email with the subject: When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees, inviting everyone in the building to attend.  The buzz started right away. 

All weekend I planned and gathered supplies.  My daughter Kelly made a poster that said, When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees…..You Eat Them.  My daughter, Lexy helped with the buttercream frosting, making it green, a “tree” color.   

On Monday I set up the conference room with my special supplies of sprinkles, candy, marshmallows and other yummy ingredients.  As people arrived and started the activity I could see smiles peeking out, hearing laughter here and there.  They frosted upside down ice cream cones that looked like trees.  Sprinkles, candy, and a little magic were everywhere.  Even the Superintendent participated and commended me for changing the “feel” in the building.  We took pictures, some ate their trees, some saved them, some made two.  It was so fun we did it again the next day for those who couldn’t do it the day before.  I gave the left over materials to a family with a mom battling breast cancer, to do the same thing-

change the energy, connect and make memories.

I knew this is what I needed to do, make a difference.  

At the same time, I was enrolled in a 4 week class, The Happiness Journey (www.hapacus.com).  I had been studying the science of happiness and thinking about my life.  It was a joke around the institution that when I retired I would go work at the library and be stress free, with a lot less responsibility. Coincidentally, the library called me for an interview and  offered me two different jobs. I accepted the Library Page position, shelving books. 

On 1-14-13, one month from that awful day I began my new career at the library. 

An even bigger change is that I have also become a Happiness Teacher, teaching the very class that changed the course of my life.  Every time I teach a class I learn more about the science of happiness and what it takes to be happy. 

I am known as the Happiness Whisperer. 

I am learning to navigate on Facebook and Twitter.  I write this blog once a week, and I am building a website.  My newest way of spreading happiness is a Meetup group, Happiness Whisperers of Modesto.

My mission

 for Happiness Whisperer is 

spreading happiness, making a difference, 

changing the world, one person at a time.

The children that died that day will always hold a special place in my heart.  They have had such an impact on my life.  As I continue to make a difference, it will be in their honor and to always remember.  On December 14, 2013 I will be decorating ice cream cones, spreading sprinkles and happiness.  

How Can I Help Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT?

Send love and light to the families of the victims. 

Say a prayer. 

Donate money.

Raise awareness about violence and mental illness.

Do something to make a difference.

Remember.

JESSELEWISCHOOSELOVE.ORG aims to foster forgiveness and compassion

MY SANDY HOOK FAMILY FUND at everribbon.com supports the victims’ families

THE SANDY HOOK SUPPORT FUND at newtown.uwwesternct.org helps first responders, teachers and others in Newtown through the United Way

http://www2.sandyhookpromise.org

“The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project.” Our intent behind “The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project” is:

A. When appropriate, work with those affected, directly or indirectly, in Newtown and the surrounding areas.

B. Establish a “train the trainer” model, where both professionals and lay people can learn how to use tapping for themselves and for others.

C. Create new approaches and protocols that can be used here and then modeled in other similar circumstances.

Find us on Facebook

The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project

#GivingTuesday

Black Friday is history.

Cyber Monday is over.

Today 

is 

Giving Tuesday.

Coming on the heels of Black Friday and Cyber Monday it was such a relief to find out about #Giving Tuesday.  It seems like a nice thing to think about.  It is refreshing to think we are all on the same page about giving and that we could make a bigger difference by having a designated day to do it.  Now in its second year, #Giving Tuesday offers an alternative mindset for too much shopping.  You will still be spending but doing it to help others.  

#Giving Tuesday is the first Tuesday after Black Friday.

According to the #Giving Tuesday website, officials at 92nd Street Y started this to fundraise and the United Nations Foundations joined as partners.  The FAQ's for #Giving Tuesday say, "It is a movement to create a national day of giving, to kick off the giving season.  It celebrates and encourages charitable activities."

Organizers say there are no parameters for giving.  
Donors are encouraged to contribute to any charity of choice.  
It is a day when everyone can be a philanthropist.
  

It doesn't matter what you give-

money, goods, services, blood, or volunteer your time.   

Giving Tuesday could be an act of kindness as simple as smiling as you holding the door for someone or giving someone a compliment or leaving a really big tip.  

You get the idea.  

Your imagination and pocketbook are your only limits.  

Today you can change the world.  

@BillGates even tweeted about it.
Spread the word on Social Media.
Share it on Facebook.
Tweet it on Twitter.
Those are the only two I am familiar with but I know you know more.  
Get the word out there in the world, it is #Giving Tuesday. 

What charity is near and dear to your heart?  

Who do you want to help?

Make a difference.

Give today.

Gratitude

He who is not contented with what he has, 

would not be contented with what he would like to have.

-Socrates

Do I need to define gratitude?  I think we all know what it is.  There are many names for it.  Being grateful, thankful and having an attitude of gratitude is beneficial to living a happy life.  Research shows it can transform your life.  Even when you are struggling it will help you focus on all of the positive things in life.  

Gratitude is not an emotion, it is a discipline of the heart.

Counting your blessings is expressing appreciation for what one has-as opposed to what one wants or needs.  It is the opposite of complaining and leads to contentment.  It lightens your heart, life and expands the world.  

Studies show that gratitude not only can be deliberately cultivated but can increase levels of well being and happiness for those who practice this habit.  In addition, grateful thinking and expressing it to others, is associated with increased levels of energy, optimism and empathy.  We could all use a little more of those traits to live our best lives.  

When you decide you want to create more happiness in your life you will need to set aside daily time to count your blessings.  This is only one way to build this happiness habit.  Make a conscious effort to take in and appreciate the good, those positive moments that occur each day.

Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly.

-Tony Robbins

Be thankful you don't already have everything you want or what would you have to look forward to?

Be thankful you don't know something, it gives you the opportunity to learn.

It is hard to be thankful during the difficult times, but that is when you grow, be thankful.

When you face limitations, they are opportunities to improve the world, be thankful.

As challenges come you build strength and character, be thankful.

Be thankful for mistakes because isn't that when we learn the most valuable and memorable lessons?

Being thankful shifts the focus of attention from ourselves to others and changes the world.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.  

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

Some suggestions for living a life of gratitude:

• Say thank you when someone does something nice for you.
• Morning or evening gratitude session-close your eyes and silently give thanks.
• Learn a gratitude prayer.
• Write in a gratitude journal, note cards or even post its.
• Apps for smart phones are easy to find.
• Computer programs to make a ongoing record.
• Art journals and vision boards are visual reminders.

We think we have to do something to be grateful or something has to be done in order for us to be grateful, 

when gratitude is a state of being.

-Iyanla Vanzant

Gratitude requires attention

 and 

consistent practice.

Make gratitude a habit today, tomorrow and every day.  

Change your life.

Transform the world.

Thank you!

Vacation from Retirement!

I am retired but...I work.
I work part time at the library as a page, shelving books.
I write a blog every week, even when I don't have ideas on what to write about.
I am also a happiness teacher and I teach the science of happiness classes. 
I maintain Facebook and Twitter sites. 
I am slowing building a web site, reading library books to do it.
I have many meetings and think of creative ways to spread happiness.  
Oh, and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week.  

Retirement is the action or fact of leaving one's job and ceasing to work.  
I did leave my very high stress career in Recruiting and Hiring with many deadlines and lots of pounding my head against the wall in frustration. 
But I have not ceased to work so am I retired?  

I love going to the library to "work."  I see and touch thousands of books, have immediate access to the new books and very nice co-workers and supervisors who appreciate me.  When I go home I do not worry about the books or if the work is getting done. 

But I also love those days spent at my computer writing and creating.  And the days when I am spreading happiness, teaching others the scientific concepts of well being and flourishing, those are exciting and fulfilling too.  Sometimes I enroll in classes and learn or visit friends or hang out with my girls. Some of my best times are at the Apple Store learning, learning and learning more while in the flow of the moment, not believing an hour has gone by! 

Every day after the gym, I am lucky to come home to a healthy protein smoothie, with mystery ingredients, concocted by my husband, Dennis. 

                             It is a nice time of the day to catch my breath 

                                                              and 

                                    contemplate my life, with gratitude.

Before I retired I made a long list of projects and things to do so I could stay busy and not get bored or become lazy.  I never work on that list.  I want to make a family cookbook, create photo albums, organize our finances so I am not the only one that knows what is going on, write an e-book on my Hold Accounts method, make a quilt, paint a room, clean the garage and the list goes on and on. I might need to take a vacation from retirement to accomplish those tasks.

I have friends and family that think I am too busy and some days I feel like slowing down the pace.  But since I "retired" I no longer need blood pressure medicine, I make it a priority to get 7 hours of sleep, my eating habits are much healthier and I am now learning or trying to learn meditation.  Yes, I am busy...but I am busy doing what makes me happy, gives me a purpose and having a whole lot of fun.

Life isn't always without stress and problems, though I deal with those times and hope they pass quickly.  I try to lean towards optimism in my life of retirement, and when I don't, thank goodness I have friends who remind me.

This week we are celebrating our 31st anniversary.  

I am taking a vacation from retirement.  

I will not go to work.  

I will be away from home, traveling.  

I will take some books to read and watch beautiful scenery.

I will eat meals out, indulge in desserts more than once and laugh. 

But mostly I will contemplate my life, with gratitude.  

A vacation from retirement 

to slow down 

and 

savor these moments.

Life is good.

Inspiration

 Inspiration    the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative• a person or thing that inspires• a sudden brilliant, creative, or timely idea
I am so inspired.  I attended a live stream event for Hay House-I Can Do It Pasadena.  It was amazing.  So much positivity.  I am glad I splurged and did this.  It was good for my soul.  At different times this weekend I was laughing, crying, taking notes, dancing, meditating and just absorbing all the fabulous information.  
Dr. Wayne Dyer said your friends are God's way of apologizing for your relatives!  Oh my did that strike a cord with me.  He read poems, talked of divine love and his daughter sang a song that had me holding in my tears.  His shirt said love.  Love period.   
Louise Hay and Mona Lisa Schulz talked about an inner ding!  Scientific proof about listening to your intuition and so many great affirmations.  I know that life always supports me.
Anita Moorjani talked about being in a coma from cancer and dying.  Her experience left me in awe and curious with unanswered questions.  There is a lot to learn about death.  Life is a gift.
Nick Ortner taught us how to tap.  Not as in tap dance but a method called Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is acupressure with modern psychology.  It is about retraining the brain-to react differently.  Tapping might be magical.
Alex Woodard broke my heart with his songs and stories from For the Sender.  His voice traps you in his world of...what if what you are supposed to be doing is better than what you have dreamed?
Brian Weiss took us on a past life regression meditation but I think I was so relaxed I fell asleep.  Oops.
Doreen Virtue and her angels are fascinating.  She says life should be filled with passion, excitement and making a difference.  Have you ever felt the presence of an angel?
Sonia Choquette had me dancing and laughing and changing my energy.  Her playful spirit will stay in my mind for a long time and reminded me how much I love music and how it affects our moods.  
Louise Hay, Ahlea Khadro and Heather Dane were giving nutritional and other health tips.  Louise Hay is 87.  She is unlike anyone I have ever met.  Her energy and love can be felt through the computer.  She is feisty and laughs a lot.  Her mirror work was divine.  The idea that overeating can be a form of starvation was mind-blowing.  Affirmation from Louise Hay-I listen with love to my body's messages.
Kris Carr told us that prevention is the best cure for cancer.  Self care is not selfish, it gives others permission to do the same.  It can change the world.  Not sure about the green juice but keeping an open mind.  She explained her journey with cancer, and I loved it when she said the only letters behind her name are LIFE.
Bruce Lipton was explaining the science of belief.  It was amazing to hear the facts and theories from atoms and energy to epigenetic and the difference between the conscious and subconscious mind.  He talked so fast I was waiting for him to breathe.  I could not write fast enough.
I wish you all could have had the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful event.  It is great to learn, question, be amazed and curious about life and the journey we are all on.  The common themes throughout this weekend were to have fun, find joy, make a difference and LOVE.  My mind, heart and soul have expanded.  I am excited!  
What excites you?What are you willing to change?What are you going to do?
All is well.     
 

Sleep

    I love the fall.      It is my favorite time of year.      It is when we turn the clocks back and have an extra hour to sleep!
      Are you a night owl or a lark?        Do you burn the candle at both ends?        Do you go to bed late and get up early?       Do you nap or fall asleep when you sit down?  

sleep |slēp|noun1 a condition of body and mind such as that which typically recurs for several hours every night, in which the nervous system is relatively inactive, the eyes closed, the postural muscles relaxed, and consciousness practically suspended
    Sleep is the most cost effective health program.  If you are not getting enough sleep it can lead to sleep deprivation and many serious health issues including increased stroke risk, obesity and memory loss.  There are many studies that prove the danger in not enough sleep, from car accidents to weight gain.  
We need to prioritize sleep the same way as diet and exercise.
Discipline.
    Our bodies like routine when it comes to sleep.  It allows natural circadian rhythms to kick in.  Altering our sleep and wake times can throw our body clock out of whack.  Research shows that a regular wake time and sleep time are important to health.  Don't sleep in on the weekends.  Have a regular wake time and stick with it.  If you get the right amount of sleep all week you won't need to play catch up on the weekend.
    Sleep provides brainpower.  Sleep helps us learn.  Your brain processes what you learn while you are asleep.  This is more than theory.  There are research studies that have proven this in many settings. Tom Rath, in his book, Eat Move Sleep, says "chronic sleep impairment is bad for your overall mental ability and akin to aging four to seven years."  I want to keep those four to seven years cognitively for as long as I can and if sleep is part of the answer then I will make sleep a priority, a habit to incorporate into my life. 
Stop reading your email and Facebook at night  right before you sleep.About an hour before you turn in, turn off all electronics.   Maybe this would be a good time to learn to meditate.Snuggle with a pet or child.Read a book.Visualize your day and how you want it to be tomorrow.  Pray.Write down what you are grateful for.Do some deep breathing exercises.
Relax and let the day go.
Our lives are the sum of those little decisions we make every day.  Make them count.-Tom Rath
p.s. Short blog this week...going to sleep!

Make A Difference Day

                         Saturday, October 26, 2013 was Make A Difference Day.  

For over 20 years, Make A Difference Day has been the largest national day of community service.  Millions of volunteers around the world unite to improve the lives of others.  Were you one of them?  

I saw firefighters collecting money in boots for Muscular Dystrophy.  Others were delivering food to people in need.  One person I heard from bought a homeless person a meal.  There were fathers and mothers coaching soccer or volunteering at the concession stand.  Someone was listening to a distraught individual, giving life saving advice.  A family adopted a pet from the pound. A $7 tip was a nice surprise for friendly servers.

Get the idea?

                            It takes each of us to make a difference for all of us.
                                                                             -Jackie Mucheson

You can make a difference.  

You don't have to wait until next year. 

 Regardless of age, location or resources you can accomplish a lot. 

Make a difference in many lives or one life.

Look around your community.  No matter where you live you can find people who need help. Find a project that makes your heart smile.   City of Modesto, Parks & Recreation says "we do better when we do things together."  LOVE Modesto has special days of community service once or twice a year.  The Kiwanis' largest event is the annual American Graffiti Festival in June.  Get ideas by reading the newspaper, talk to people around you, call a volunteer center, or brainstorm with your friends and family.  Local media and social media are powerful tools for getting the word out about your project. 

There are many ways to make a difference:

• Thank a police officer 
• Smile at a stranger
• Help someone with a heavy load
• Listen to a story someone needs to share
• Play music to cheer others
• Volunteer for a project
• Mow your neighbor's lawn

Make a difference for one person or many.

Do it yourself or with others.  

Do it today or everyday.

Imagine if every single person did this....even just once a year!

The world would be a better place.

Make a difference.. 

TODAY! 

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.  
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
-Margaret Mead  

Family Greed! WARNING: Not a regular happiness post!

Warning:  

Do not read this post if you are looking for a positive, light read....

So when I googled "family greed" to see what came up, surprisingly it was a statement from the Pope.
Yes, the Pope.
Here is what he said:

Commenting on the day’s Gospel, in which a man asks Jesus to intervene to resolve a problem of inheritance with his brother, the Pope spoke about the problem of our relationship with money:
“This is a day-to-day problem. How many families have we seen destroyed by the problem of money? Brother against brother, father against son. This is the first result that this attitude of being attached to money does: it destroys! When a person is attached to money, he destroys himself, he destroys the family. Money destroys! It does, doesn’t it? It binds you. Money serves to bring about many good things, so many works for human development, but when your heart is attached in this way, it destroys you.” 

No family is perfect.  We all have our skeletons.  I like to think that family will look out for each other and stand by in times of trouble.  Some families don't do this.  It might begin as a dysfunctional family but can end up like some animals, eating their young to survive.

Money does this a lot.  I have been hearing about many families that are battling because of inheritances and the lying and backbiting that goes on.  It tears relationships apart.  It sends people over the edge with stress and despair about life. It seems kind of common.

I am a Happiness Teacher and I do not understand family greed.  I have personally been witnessing this lately and I am dumbfounded at the treachery and lying.  Why? How can money make people do these things?

Greed is the selfish desire to have it all.
But how much do we need?
Where do we draw the line?
How can we be a family and have greed?
What goes wrong in the family where greed is the bottom line?

As a family we are supposed to watch out for each other.  We want what is best for the other person.  We protect and keep them safe.  We try to make life easier.

I am not saying money is evil or bad and we should not have it.  I am saying that we cannot let it destroy our families.  Let it go.  Be strong.  Live as if the most important thing is the family.  Because it is the most important thing.  Don't get addicted to the greed of money.

I am not feeling very positive this week about happiness.  I know I will bounce back from this low end of the positivity spectrum and see the light again but I feel as if there is a dark cloud hanging over me, waiting to jump out and make things darker.

I am trying my Happiness Whisperer tricks....exercise, distractions and leaning towards optimism but I am very, very tired of the controversy and the lack of integrity in all parties and how most things can be justified.  I wish it were different but it is reality.

I guess my message this week is that sometimes life sucks and we deal with it.  

Looking forward to a brighter week, next week.  

I am going to write three good things that happened today and go to bed early.