PROJECT: Buy Nothing Month

Happy New Year
Almost!

In our home, 2014 will start in the same way it has been started for many years.  
No, not that kiss at midnight or writing a list of resolutions.  
This is no buy month.  
This project is about shifting focus.
It stops that instant gratification syndrome which is easy to start and continue.    
Sometimes money is spent out of convenience or boredom.  
You want it, you surf online or go to Target and BAM you have a new "thing".  
You are happy for awhile but that satisfaction is often fleeting.  

Especially during the holiday season it is an easy habit to become attached to.  You know how you buy a sweater, then a scarf to complete it, but then really want the earrings too, maybe shoes?  Wait, I'm not the only one who does that am I?  

A study by Yale and Stanford researchers dub this the "shopping momentum effect". It explains how buying one thing seems to unleash your inner spendthrift.  It is that feeling when I am placing items in the basket and say I should think twice about this purchase but justify it somehow anyway.  

We can become unconscious spenders.  Oh, look at this new app, only $4.99.  Or a song on iTunes, only $1.29, the nail polish or post it notes at Target for $3.99 (maybe both) and on it goes.  By stopping the momentum of mindless spending it becomes clear how we manage money or not.  It is not that easy.

There are many personal finance books that can help us with tricks and techniques for budgeting and financial well being.  Be sure to check the library for FREE books. 

LEARN!

Our family goes cold turkey, no spending on January 1st.  We can only buy groceries, gas and pay regular bills.  No eating out, no trips to Target, no "wants" purchased, only needs.  We can use the credit card for food and gas only.  And yes we have emergency exceptions.  One year we needed a dress and all the other stuff  for Winter Formal.  Because of no buy month, we brainstormed how we could accomplish this for the least amount of money.  Instead of going to the mall we went to Buy Rite Thrift Shop and found a long royal blue satin dress for $1.99.  We had it cut off and hemmed for $20, and shoes from Payless Shoes for $16.99 (they take them off to dance anyway).  So for less than $40.00 it was a Winter Wonderland and the lesson was PRICELESS.  

From the science of happiness, the attachments to money and even education are less important than relationships. 

-Mark Anielski

So how does this affect our family?

In our house not everyone is thrilled with no buy month but we all see the importance of it.  It has become an important New Year tradition.  We are on the honor system, even for those that earn their own money and hopefully we all "buy" into it.  

What are the benefits?  

We have more time.  
We are not searching online, finding deals, going to the store, trying it on, thinking about it and finally buying it then debating if you made the right decision.  
Shopping is a lot of work.  
It simplifies our days because there are no decisions about spending money.  
We have discussions about wants vs. needs.  
We talk about values.  
We talk about being debt free and living below our means.  
I like to think I am teaching my daughters about personal finance and decision making skills. 
We change our brains and stop the momentum of spending.  
And lastly, we save money.   
Lots of reasons to keep our tradition going every year.  

We do make a last minute trip to the store on December 31, to stock up on shampoo, deodorant and other "needs". In January,  I will check my MINT financial software every day to bring back that money awareness.  Where is our money going?  I won't look at the Target ads every Sunday and think oh I need that.  I will delete emails promoting upcoming sales or maybe even unsubscribe so I am not even tempted. I will catch myself when I want to order a book from Amazon or an app from iTunes. 

Maybe you can try the no buy project....for a day, a week or even go big and do the whole month.  Your bank account will be glad you tried it.  Maybe it will become a New Year tradition for your family.  
   

Connection

As I was trying to figure out what to write about I was thinking about what all the holidays have in common, besides yummy food!  They are all gatherings with many traditions.  Some are based on religion and some are not.  We all have our favorite ways to celebrate this time of the year.  One thing that is a common theme throughout each tradition, holiday or gathering is that it is people being together.

Connection.

A connection is a link, a bond, an association, an attachment, a tie or relationship.
Most of us like to have a connection with our friends and family.

It seems like this time of year we extend that connection to others.  
We smile at the bell ringer who is cold, but warmed by making a difference.
We let someone ahead of us in line when they only have one item, and feel generous.
We ask the checker how the day is going, and know we are spreading cheer.
People volunteer what they are having to eat for their special meal, and we listen.
Someone shares a special childhood tradition and another adopts it.
Many treats are shared and recipes exchanged.

But not everyone has these connections and I see them in my daily path.  One person was talking to me at the library and she said her daughters live in another state and she will be alone.  We take our connections for granted.  We sometimes even grumble that we "have" to go somewhere to celebrate.  There are some who have nowhere to go for a celebration or connection.

One of my core values is about making a difference and that usually means making a connection in some way.  It means walking through life with eyes open and being ready to change the world.  It can be as simple as listening to the lady in the library, smiling at the homeless person I see every work day, or working on my class curriculum to teach the science of happiness.

Many say this time of year is for the children, I disagree and say it is for all of us.  It is a reminder to stop for a moment in our daily lives, be thankful and remember connection is and always will be what life is about. 

Other people matter. 

Make a connection or two or more. 

Hold the door for someone.
Smile at a grumpy person.
Start a conversation with an elderly soul.
Acknowledge the sadness in someone who needs it.
Give a treat to a helper.
Leave a really big tip.
Tell a story.
Surprise someone with a phone call.
Share hot chocolate with an outside worker who is in the cold.
Thank a police officer.
Start a tradition.
Sing a song out loud.
Send love and light to the world. 

I wish everyone could have a connection during this special time of year.
But sadly, that is not how it is.
So as you go about your holiday duties, take a moment and be thankful for that connection you have and the obligations that go along with it.

We are blessed.
Connection.

    

Favorite Things

This is a list of my Favorite Things.

  

They are not especially popular or well liked, known about or even done by anyone other than me.  
It is not a holiday gift giving guide.  
It does not include over-the-top indulgences.  
It does not even include Macy's, Nordstrom's or anything organic. 

It's just me tuning in to my life and seeing how blessed that I am. 

1. New books checked out from the library that no one has read yet.
2. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser-it cleans everything.
3. A blank notebook for new beginnings, great ideas and to-do lists.
4. Flylady.net for daily reminders to keep me on track.
5. WORDS-everywhere-on walls, in pictures or on paper.
6. Chocolate!  Any kind, anywhere, anytime.
7. Sadie, my dog, when I am petting her or wiggles when I come home.
8. Spreading happiness with kind words, good deeds or smiles.
9. Sharpie Accent Highlighter pens.
10. A picked up, clutter free, clean home.
11. Hanging out, doing nothing with my daughters.
12. MacBook Pro laptop computer with One to One training.
13. I Can Do It Conference sponsored by Hay House.
14. Vision Boards...cutting out words and pictures is so fun.
15. A strawberry smoothie after a workout at the gym-thank you Dennis!
16. Military, those currently serving or veterans-THANK YOU!
17. Fitbit Force to keep track of steps, sleep and encourage me to move.
18. The mantra, "Things are always working out for me".
19. Friends who keep you real.
20. Hot chocolate with whipped cream.
21. Leslie Sansone Walk at Home videos.
22. Meditation or QUIET.
23. White Boards that are easily erased.
24. Jammie days.
25. CONTENTMENT.

Make a list of your favorite things.

When you brainstorm your gift giving list maybe you can include a favorite thing to share.

Gifts don't have to cost a lot of money to be just the right thing. 

Share yourself for the best gift of all. 

Be happy.

Sandy Hook Shooting Impact

My name is Becky Wilbur aka Happiness Whisperer.  I am a 58 year old wife and mom.  When the Sandy Hook shooting happened last year on 12-14-12, I was working in my cubicle in a prison.  I was devastated as I imagined my own daughters’ kindergarten classes being harmed. 

How was what I was doing in this prison making a difference? 

For many years, I worked in Human Resources, recruiting and hiring staff, to guard and rehabilitate  juvenile offenders in a youth correctional center.  On that day I was so sad and I felt hopeless. I am a positive person and knew I needed to do something, so I planned a team building activity for Monday.  Now if you know anything about the State of California you know we don’t “do” activities, team building or not! My nose and those around me were usually to the grindstone.  But that day I had an epiphany and I sent an email with the subject: When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees, inviting everyone in the building to attend.  The buzz started right away. 

All weekend I planned and gathered supplies.  My daughter Kelly made a poster that said, When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees…..You Eat Them.  My daughter, Lexy helped with the buttercream frosting, making it green, a “tree” color.   

On Monday I set up the conference room with my special supplies of sprinkles, candy, marshmallows and other yummy ingredients.  As people arrived and started the activity I could see smiles peeking out, hearing laughter here and there.  They frosted upside down ice cream cones that looked like trees.  Sprinkles, candy, and a little magic were everywhere.  Even the Superintendent participated and commended me for changing the “feel” in the building.  We took pictures, some ate their trees, some saved them, some made two.  It was so fun we did it again the next day for those who couldn’t do it the day before.  I gave the left over materials to a family with a mom battling breast cancer, to do the same thing-

change the energy, connect and make memories.

I knew this is what I needed to do, make a difference.  

At the same time, I was enrolled in a 4 week class, The Happiness Journey (www.hapacus.com).  I had been studying the science of happiness and thinking about my life.  It was a joke around the institution that when I retired I would go work at the library and be stress free, with a lot less responsibility. Coincidentally, the library called me for an interview and  offered me two different jobs. I accepted the Library Page position, shelving books. 

On 1-14-13, one month from that awful day I began my new career at the library. 

An even bigger change is that I have also become a Happiness Teacher, teaching the very class that changed the course of my life.  Every time I teach a class I learn more about the science of happiness and what it takes to be happy. 

I am known as the Happiness Whisperer. 

I am learning to navigate on Facebook and Twitter.  I write this blog once a week, and I am building a website.  My newest way of spreading happiness is a Meetup group, Happiness Whisperers of Modesto.

My mission

 for Happiness Whisperer is 

spreading happiness, making a difference, 

changing the world, one person at a time.

The children that died that day will always hold a special place in my heart.  They have had such an impact on my life.  As I continue to make a difference, it will be in their honor and to always remember.  On December 14, 2013 I will be decorating ice cream cones, spreading sprinkles and happiness.  

How Can I Help Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT?

Send love and light to the families of the victims. 

Say a prayer. 

Donate money.

Raise awareness about violence and mental illness.

Do something to make a difference.

Remember.

JESSELEWISCHOOSELOVE.ORG aims to foster forgiveness and compassion

MY SANDY HOOK FAMILY FUND at everribbon.com supports the victims’ families

THE SANDY HOOK SUPPORT FUND at newtown.uwwesternct.org helps first responders, teachers and others in Newtown through the United Way

http://www2.sandyhookpromise.org

“The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project.” Our intent behind “The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project” is:

A. When appropriate, work with those affected, directly or indirectly, in Newtown and the surrounding areas.

B. Establish a “train the trainer” model, where both professionals and lay people can learn how to use tapping for themselves and for others.

C. Create new approaches and protocols that can be used here and then modeled in other similar circumstances.

Find us on Facebook

The Tapping Solution for Newtown: Stress and Trauma Relief Project

#GivingTuesday

Black Friday is history.

Cyber Monday is over.

Today 

is 

Giving Tuesday.

Coming on the heels of Black Friday and Cyber Monday it was such a relief to find out about #Giving Tuesday.  It seems like a nice thing to think about.  It is refreshing to think we are all on the same page about giving and that we could make a bigger difference by having a designated day to do it.  Now in its second year, #Giving Tuesday offers an alternative mindset for too much shopping.  You will still be spending but doing it to help others.  

#Giving Tuesday is the first Tuesday after Black Friday.

According to the #Giving Tuesday website, officials at 92nd Street Y started this to fundraise and the United Nations Foundations joined as partners.  The FAQ's for #Giving Tuesday say, "It is a movement to create a national day of giving, to kick off the giving season.  It celebrates and encourages charitable activities."

Organizers say there are no parameters for giving.  
Donors are encouraged to contribute to any charity of choice.  
It is a day when everyone can be a philanthropist.
  

It doesn't matter what you give-

money, goods, services, blood, or volunteer your time.   

Giving Tuesday could be an act of kindness as simple as smiling as you holding the door for someone or giving someone a compliment or leaving a really big tip.  

You get the idea.  

Your imagination and pocketbook are your only limits.  

Today you can change the world.  

@BillGates even tweeted about it.
Spread the word on Social Media.
Share it on Facebook.
Tweet it on Twitter.
Those are the only two I am familiar with but I know you know more.  
Get the word out there in the world, it is #Giving Tuesday. 

What charity is near and dear to your heart?  

Who do you want to help?

Make a difference.

Give today.