Tweak not twerk.

Life is a whirlwind.

We try to  live a "normal" life.

But what is a normal life?

I am off from the library for a month trying on a "pretend" retirement.   I am always busy and there is so much going on.  I felt like if I didn't work at the library then I would have a "normal" retirement and life.  I have been off for a week and my life is crazier and more busy than usual. 

When life is in a flux and there is continuous change, 

it sometimes makes me forget to be thankful. 

Even when I am getting an estimate to get my car fixed from an accident, 

I am thankful that no one was seriously injured.

Even when we are stuck in traffic for a long time, 

I am thankful we are all together, have air conditioning and snacks.

Even when I am spending the day taking care of bills and other paperwork, 

I am thankful I have enough money to pay those bills.  

Even when I am not able to sleep because my brain won't shut off, 

I am thankful that I have people in my life to worry about and love.

Even when I am feeling unsteady looking at houses to buy, 

I am thankful I have a lovely home to live in.

Even when the news is bad, 

I am thankful I try to look beyond and find the good.

I thought my "pretend" retirement would lead to a "normal" life.  I imagined days of waking up when I wanted, having time for meditation and pool time. Work outs were done in the cool of the day and with joy. I had a day dream of no chores and all my work being caught up. Actually reading all my library books with no fine. You know, the perfect life.

There are not enough hours in the day to do all we want to do, no matter if we are retired or not.  

Choosing how we spend our minutes, leads to days, weeks, months and yes, how we live our lives. 

I am thinking my "normal" life and retirement is really my real life.

Maybe it is time to tweak (not twerk) life a little bit:  

• Add in the pool time as non negotiable.

• Workouts are more fun when cool, but I can be hot for 30 minutes.

• Some days I can wake up when I want.

• Meditation is stillness and silence, not something on a to-do list.  

• Chores, if kept up, can be managed.

• Taking care of business, I was able to retire, keep on doing that.

• Read, pay the fines to support the library when I don't finish on time.

Does any of this help me figure out how to live during this month of "pretend" retirement?

No, but what I am realizing is that I get to choose how I feel about my life and I am thankful for all my life has in it.  I relish those "perfect" days of doing bare minimums and resting, just as I rise to the occasion when I need to be on task and move along.  

I have been an all or nothing perfectionist all my life.  I want to live in the gray area.  Not all, not nothing.  Just right.  A little rest, a little work, a little play, a little of whatever I need to live my best life. 

Maybe I am already living my best life 

and I just needed to notice that

and tweak as needed. 

I hope you are living your best life.

If so, be thankful.

If not, tweak it.