Death and Dying

Death is inevitable, the only thing that is guaranteed in this life.

-Unknown

Last week I attended a program, sponsored by Hospice.

It is Consider the Conversation.  

The program was about death and dying.

The taboo against death and dying remains powerful.

It's as though if we talk about it then it will happen.    

We watched a documentary and then a panel of speakers were available for questions.  

The program was very thought provoking.  

By this point you are probably thinking that this isn't really a happiness topic.  But in defense, one of my retirement projects is to make a financial binder and a death binder.  What?  Yes, a death binder.  Death is a stressful time for those left behind.  My job, as a wife and mother, is to make life easier to handle.  That means most details will have been taken care of with clear directions for my wishes.  It makes me happy to know I am making a difference at a sad time in the life of my family.  

There are many parts to death-before, during and after.

"Before" is when you prepare.  

You could be doing this right now.

Living your best possible life.

"During" is when you are dying.

Hope is not a plan.

Decisions have been made about your care.  

Drugs, nutrition, hydration and peace are the buzz words.

Your family knows what they can do to help you "die" well.

Their question now is "How can I care for you?"

"After" is when life is over.

Death is the big "don't know".  

We have given up the certainty of life.

Grief.

The Conversation Project is an excellent resource to guide you through discussions of fears, values and medical options.  P.O.L.S.T. is a form that will ensure your doctors follow your wishes.  It is in addition to the Advance Health Care Directive.  NIHSeniorHealth.gov has a module that answers questions about death and dying, from drugs to autopsies.  

Death is a challenge.  

It tells us not to waste time.   

It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.  

-Leo Buscaglia 

After the presentation I was thinking about my life....death and dying.  I learned that often people have to scramble and deal with a lot of bad options.  I have lived this scenario and it isn't good.  

I asked myself some questions:

• Am I living my best life NOW?
• Have I reached out to have conversations with those I need to?
• Do I live my values?
• How do I want my end of life story to go?
• What do I need to do to accomplish this? 

Think ahead.

Make decisions about what is important.

Tend to relationships.

Have peace.

Be surrounded by love.

It seems to me that death is a lot like life.  

I guess living our death is not a good way of saying it.  

But living our life as we would our death is maybe what I am trying to say.

Don't wait.

Fight fear with information.